Evening Crash

It was that magical time of night, when each child gets to sit down with me in the quiet right before being tucked in for bed time.  The peaceful time when I can ask each one about their day and have a completely unedited response about all their hopes, dreams fears, and childlike chaos.


First it was one large crash that interrupted a peaceful discussion about the troubles dollies face.  


Second it was a decidedly different noise, the kind that might cause alarm.

"What's going on?!" I belowed in my gentle fatherlike way.

"Oh … nothing, there's just a spider."

Followed by a series of noises best described as 
"Thwak!" "Crack!" and "Whack!"

This is the point where a child ran from the back room, clerthunked down the stairs, then fromped up the stairs towing a fly swat in his hand.  "I'll be right back!"  I heard voiced across the house.  The silent atmosphere disolved into a suspension hush as we waited for the next sound.

"Whatever you do…" The sentence began from my oldest. Drown out by a sequel to the earlier series of "Thwaks, cracks, and whacks" 

Then there was silence… quiet footsteps… and the 'whoosh' of the toilet flushing.

My son appeared shortly after with a report.

"I feel a little guilty."  He paused.  "Right before I killed him my Brother said I shouldn't think about how the spider has a wife and family that'll be waiting for him to come home from work."

Fatherly Mistakes

We're human … we make mistakes.  That's my excuse.

Every night I do a bed time moment with each child… then afterwards I tuck each one into bed.  You'd think after four children and … several… years I'd have learned by now to avoid certain mistakes.

"Daddy…"  was the call sign for tonight's bed time tucking in.  "Do you believe in faeries?" and "Why did Hook…" and "Peter Pan is like.."  So finally after tucking in was fully done I lean forward, kiss her on the cheek and say:

"Baby, I love you very much, it's bed time…" Here's where the mistake comes in "talking time is done, one more word and I'll tickle you for ten whole seconds." 

Those of you who have been parents for awhile… or even babysat once or twice will groan inside yourself.  "no, really?!" and "Oh no!" you might say, knowing exactly what comes next.

That's right … I didn't even have to tickle her, she began as soon as I said it, and didn't stop until I kissed her forehead and walked out of the room shaking my head.  

It's worth a smile though.


Most Mean Dad

I do a lot of things that are mean… like bed time, can you believe someone would force children to go to bed before they REALLY want to?!  Plus trying ot make them eat vegetables and fruit, yuck!

Tonight though I really took the cake (not literally) for being the most mean Dad.

"Daddy."  My youngest son mentioned to me as he played with a loose tooth. "I've had this tooth loose for a year.  It's really annoying!"

I don't love pulling teeth… as you can tell by the fact that he's had this tooth loose for SO LONG, but I also know that sometimes a tooth has to be taken out or else the tooth growing in its place will grow in at a weird angle.  I hate these kind of teeth the most, they aren't as easy to get out, and they don't want to come.  I cringed inside and asked Fatherly probing questions…. like:



"How long has it been loose?"

As he was laying in bed, ready to sleep, I took the sleeve of his pajamas (it was a spur of a moment decision… and I am a single Father.)  I used it to get a grip on the tooth before he fully knew what was going on, pushed it the opposite direction and it flew (with little wings) out of his mouth and onto his chest.  His shock lasted for the next ten minutes as he kept repeating things like:

"I can't believe it's gone!"


"It feels like such a hole in my mouth!"


"I didn't expect that!"

It did come out, and like any tooth like that, it bled a little, and we did all the right things to stop that part, but the tooth underneath it really was as through as it could get without removing that tooth.  I'm impressed by his level of pain tolerance, and the laughing shock he had afterwards.

(I'm such a bad Father, he has a space on his dresser where he's been collecting teeth "Wow, the tooth fairy owes me a ton!  I could buy a real toy!" before going to sleep I tucked him in and said "Tomorrow I'll show you where the envelopes are.")