It seems that fundraisers are a part of going to school, I don't remember having half as many when I was young, but it seems that the school is in a constant state of need, or bleed. Mainly bleeding parents and everyone associated with the child of whatever nickels and dimes they can manage. This isn't a rant about fundraisers, it's a rant about the way the children are taught to buy into the fund raiser.
It was a dark day when the children came home with their 'booklets of doom' each child had a booklet of postcards that they could write special notes on so that the parents could write out the address and names of seven people that cared about them, then if the child turned in a filled out postcard booklet they would get a prize, and the people who cared about the child would get a cute little customized post card asking them to buy something from a catalog to help out the school. In the past this hadn't been too difficult a task… after all, it all began with only one child in school, and 1 x 7 = 7… finding 7 people who love 1 child is easy. Then a second child started school and finding 7 x 2 = 14 people who would appreciate an personalized advertisement (or the same 7 people could each get 2 advertisements.) and this year I have 3 children in school… which either means I need 3 x 7 = 21 people, or 7 people get 3 personalized advertisements… which goes against my philosophy of "don't take advantage of the people you care about."
The children came home so excited from the assembly where they talked about the exciting prizes and the rewards possible if they generated between this and that amount of money from the fundraiser. It makes me feel like a terrible Father when I get this excitement and then crush it so mercilessly. This year, they came home with excitement bubbling from their eyes and told about how they would be rewarded with little keychain ducks if they filled out the booklet. Which duck they got would be random, but they had high hopes. Instead of filling out the book, I pulled open amazon.com and typed in "keychain + duck" in the search box. The girls bubbled with joy when they saw the exact kind they wanted, and I bubbled with joy when I saw it was only $2 for 24… or so. The boys then laughed when they saw ninja ducks and I thought "sweet!… I subverted the subversion!" and two days later the ducks appeared.
The ducks of DOOM!
The Children didn't mind subverting the system, they had planned on filling out the booklet and getting one duck, now they had, a lot more than one!
They seemed like such normal toys
Then I noticed something about these ducks… (they are EVERYWHERE)
I turned around and would find army's of ducks watching me. I had tried to take pictures, I thought I took at least ten of the ducks in various places around the house… the kitchen while I made a morning shake, the bedroom as I was getting dressed, the bathroom as I was shaving.
I told the children they were following me, and the children just laughed… I know they're just cute little rubber duckies… but I'm afraid.
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