Daily Dose – 9/16/2012; So, This is War!

I cannot abide the creeping crawlies..

Before I went to bed I said “If you want to play games tomorrow, you first will have to vacuum, which means picking up as well.”  I’ll give you one guess how I woke up this morning.  I do have some of the most amazing kids in the world.  Stumbling into the living room to see the floor freshly cleaned with those most beautiful lines across the floor as evidence of their obedience I couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride.

At Gymnastics I wondered if my children were actually improving.  The youngest is, the others… are, but it’s not as quickly as I’d hope.  Watching today I learned that I must teach them that when they face resistance, it’s okay to hold your ground.  I watched all of them face the resistance of gravity, and each one has a tendency to go with the flow.  “Oh” they seem to say “you were pushing me down?  I guess I’ll go that way.”  As if their muscles and strength had nothing to say in the matter.

Today was another Birthday; perhaps tomorrow I can share the pictures (once they develop 😉 )  We had a special birthday Dinner at Red Lobster, we bought fancy cake, and opened presents.

I love my children, I love that they exist with a spirit of gratitude.  Later in the day my Daughter wraps her arms around my neck as I give her a piggy back, her grip turns from “give me a ride Daddy!” to the warmest and sweetest little hug, she whispers towards my ear:  “Daddy, thank you so much for the gifts and for my Birthday, I love it all so very much!”  Her honest words of thanks staggered me… her cute little child slur melting my heart with her brilliance.

Perhaps tomorrow I can share the whole experience.  It was a magical day.

War… that’s really one of the huge things that stood out today.  A few days ago I saw three black widow spiders on the outside patio at night.  One is enough to cause concern, but three were enough to put me on guard.  I had killed two, but one was HUGE, and sneaky… able to avoid my attacks and seeking cover behind the stucco on the house.

I let that be the Spider’s victory as I retreated inside the house and began my extensive research.  Black widow spiders are dangerous… dangerous enough that it suggests online that if you are bitten, you don’t attempt to drive to the hospital on your own, you call 911 and get an ambulance.  Furthermore, I discovered two types of very effective poisons.  One is a dust you powder on and around places you never want to see a bug again, it’s mostly water resistant and all of the reviews said it worked.  The other expels spiders and bugs… they come out of hiding and try to flee.  I bought enough of each.

It took about a week for all the poisons to come in, and today as I was putting the children to bed the feeling came to me that it was time for a rematch.  The spider looked big last time I saw it, and it occurred to me that there’s a chance this mother Black Widow was getting ready to make some babies.

The pictures and video I took of the conflict are for a mature audience only… they are graphic in nature.  War is never pretty, but when  you’re fighting something with legs as long as a half an inch seeing is worse than believing. In the last five days the bugs had been busy.  Thick black widow web strung the lower boughs of the home, and where before there had been three, instead of reducing their numbers to the one, my previous conflict had somehow multiplied them.  In the light of the cellphone video I saw at least five of these long legged creatures, each with the vicious red hour glass on the back… but no sight of the large one.

Murder took on a new name as I sprayed liberally.  I had bought two cans of this instant kill and expel juice, and I watched as, within a minute, these mini monsters began waving their legs and curling up to a nice and quiet death.  One in the middle of feeding on a cricket the size of my little finger.  Under the water spout I found one of the higher level bosses… this spider looked like a pure hunter, easily the size of a half dollar he began chasing me with the first spray.  I stomped on the ground knowing the vibration was enough to scare him the other way, yet he came on.  A second stomp plus a spray in his eye balls turned his attack into a retreat.  I followed him wondering if something that size could die by simple poison.  As the minute passed he slowed, coughed, leaned against the fence… shuddered, cried out to his long lost ancestors and gave a classic dying scene… classic in the sense that it lasted forever and seemed contrived.  I gave him mixed reviews as I poked to ensure he was dead.

I approached the house, near as I could tell the death toll was above 25, and there it was… smaller than the last victim, but twice as large (diameter was a huge sphere) This mother of black widows was as big as an over sized marble.  Legs 3/4 of an inch long, and swollen to the point that the hour glass was more like a birth mark.  She laughed at me as I sprayed her.  She ased if I really dared to attack her, but I sprayed again.  She mocked me and insulted my physique as I continued my barrage.  Wishing I’d actually gone to the gun show this weekend, I noticed she stopped taunting me and began to concentrate.  Perhaps she would die.  In a battle that I thought would never end, I watched as the life began to drain from her many eyes… she licked her lips, made a dirty inuendo, and simply stopped moving.  It was a near graceful death.

Literally the biggest black widow I had ever seen, I took the shovel from the wall, yanking with my strength to dislodge the hastily woven black widow web I began to dig a hole in the back yard.  Not sure if the eggs inside could still grow, I wanted her resting place further from the house… and under pressure.  Once buried, given a marker, and prayed over, I began a crushnig dance… on her grave, hoping that was the last I’d see of her and any possible offspring.

As near as I can tell, the battle is won.  To ensure I win the war I’ll puff the dust over their old homes and give thanks to companies who could greate chemicals that give us more confidence in walking outside at night.

9 thoughts on “Daily Dose – 9/16/2012; So, This is War!

    1. Honestly, I was surprised too! I think that because it was night a lot were out that I wouldn’t see during the day. My iPhone light also cast huge shadows do I could see ones I’d usually miss. It was definitely timed right SMS the right time to do it!

  1. I’m shivering just thinking about those spiders!

    I’ve had a lot of bugs in my place this summer. My apartment is partly underground and with the way the weather has been all summer I guess they’re just finding their way into my home. I’ve had ants, earwigs, centipedes and lots of spiders. Ugh. Is it sad I’m actually ready for winter to come and make them all go away??

    1. I had originally thought I could get through the spider season in the Desert naturally… but to be honest I do love knowing they are dead.  Krysten, I suggest getting this Delta Dust, the reviews sold me on it and I like that it's supposed to be good for 8 months.  That's the next step of my bug defense plan, I will puff the powder in the corners and 'scary places' like under the washing machine and dryer.  It'll make me feel much better.

      I'm not sure how winter in this desert will affect them.  It makes me glad knowing they'll all be dead.

  2. Your battle description was awesome, "Victory or Death, Victory or Death" of course for all bugs and spiders, etc. After all this is your home and family  you are protecting.

    1. The one that came after me surprised me.  Perhaps he wasn't sure what he was doing, but I didn't expect an actual attack.  The girls and I explored the aftermath, it's pretty gruesome.  I found only one remaining, and he won't make it past the dust.  

  3. I'm sure it was alarming to have one come after you. They say the Hobo spiders here are aggressive and come after you, they say their fast. Articles about them say that they don't know what their doing and don't really attack. Who knows? My rule is, if you come into the house, then I understand you want to die. As for Black widows the rule is, you exist so you want to die. 

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