Daily Dose – 9/17/2012; This is War, Part 2

Waking up in the middle of the night can be disorienting… but waking up in the middle of the night, kneeling next to your bed can make a man wonder what he must have been dreaming about.

For some reason I woke up a half hour before my alarm went off… I REALLY wanted to go back to sleep, but as weird as the night was, I found myself going through the morning wake up routine anyway… and that's how I made pancakes.

I learned something valuable about making pancakes.  Substituting water for milk works great, substituting whole cream for water… makes something a little thick, then adding water to that to make it so it can be poured, makes something a lot like a crepe.  "Daddy!!! May I have more please!!!"  Was the youngest ones plea, which broke my heart, because there wasn't any more.

Other than dragging along the science project, getting to school was as routine as ever.  We arrived just in time to be slightly late, but not so late that the kids had to sign in.  You'd think more time would have allowed us to get ready better… some how it never seems to work like that.


The back patio looked like a war zone.  The summer monsoons combined with the corpses of a hundred different kinds of bugs that happen to pass through the area left something horrifying to behold.  Normally, when I feel especially obligated to do something, I like to take a nap.  But this time I took action instead.

It only took me a few dozen boxes before I found the one with the garden hose in it.  Lucky for me, that box also had the water spray gun.  I thought it might be Christmas by how fortune was favoring me.  My youngest and I put on our flip flops and walked onto the battle field.  At first was the absolute satisfaction that comes from watching something dirty get clean.  Second was the horror in seeing what creepy crawly things come out of the woodworks when the water works turn on.  While spraying off the patio every cricket in the hard came to investigate, and there were many.. apparently there are 'tiny' wolf spiders that had made nests near the outskirts of the patio.  They sought high ground… which was where I was at.  

Today I was armed only with a garden hose and a ridiculously high pressure nozzle.  The first spider, about the size of a half dollar came running at the house, to the shriek of my daughter.  His reward was a waterslide that took him to the outskirts of the property.  On his way he knocked on the door to Ms. Black Widow, and asked if she would come.  She declined and spent the next few minutes swinging on a string outside her home… until eventually a giant shovel smashed her to the earth.  She was the only black widow… but he was not the only wolf spider.  I counted at least three, though I may have counted a couple as just one.  As I sprayed they were flung, as if by some invisible hand, off the property and to the borders of the tall solid fence, it took surprisingly little encouragement to send them to another property.  The worst was a wolf spider as large as a tarantula carrying an egg sack that resembled a small golf ball.  He was encouraged so forcefully (she probably) that she may have not survived the ride.

In the end the patio took on a clean, fresh, and new glow.  As it dried over the course of the next ten minutes (you know summer is gone when it takes 10 minutes in the desert to dry what usually is gone in five. 

The next step… the super poison of destiny.  The Delta Dust stuff that is supposed to last up to 8 months, and kill any bug that walks across it.  I love the reviews, and am excited to have all the scary areas in the house (especially the boxes in the garage) powdered so I can have confidence nothing creepy is 'afoot" 

6 thoughts on “Daily Dose – 9/17/2012; This is War, Part 2

    1. The dust is better than bleach; lol.  I'm actually pretty excited, this morning I woke up and could 'see' the activity during the night by all of the dead bodies.  It kind of gives me a feeling of "hah, that's me conquering nature and taming the wild!"

  1. Oh man, this is funny!!! You have a way of making a terrifying experience into a comical one!! We deal with wolf spiders on a daily basis. Last week I saw one in the house and the closest thing I had on hand to kill it with was hairspray. Just so you know, spiders of that size are immune to the powers of Tressemme. πŸ˜‰

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